Since summer makes people happier and friendlier, it’s much easier to talk to strangers and make a connection with someone. Summer is the time to get out of your comfort zone, so men – don’t be afraid to approach women and strike a conversation. And ladies – don’t be afraid to do things alone, like going for a hike or reading a book in a park. Men are more likely to make the first move if a woman is away from a group. If you do meet a man, even if you’re not interested, be polite – at the very least you may make a new friend or contact!

One tip to get primed for flirting is to wear clothes that maximize your best assets and features. This doesn’t mean dressing provocatively though. Show skin tastefully no matter how hot the weather gets. It’s all about keeping members of the opposite sex interested by leaving them wanting more.

Body language is the key to flirting. There are all these subtle hints that we can watch out for that signal interest. Things like an open stance, flared nostrils, and leaning in are all signs that you’re into whoever you’re speaking to. If you’re just getting back into flirting, practice a few of these moves and focus on making small changes until it becomes more natural for you.

Practice doing these physical moves to up your flirting game even more:

• Eyes: You can’t flirt without eye contact, so take off those sunglasses! Draw attention to your eyes by moving your hair away from your face or putting two fingers on your face and subtly pointing towards your eyes.
• Voice: Match your voice to theirs by mirroring their voice volume and speed. This will make you feel more connected to each other.
• Lips: For men and women, subtly lick your lips or bite your lower lip as you look at the person you’re flirting with. Don’t forget to smile as well!
• Posture: Stand tall and keep your head up to project your confidence. Shift your weight to one side and put your hands on your hip. This is a high achiever pose that is very attractive to people.
• Mirror: Copy someone’s body language to slowly get in sync with them. To see if someone is interested in you, change your gestures slowly and watch if they mimic you.

Flirting is really that simple! Just be relaxed, natural and follow these easy tips and it’ll be like drawing bees to honey. Get your flirt on and enjoy the sunshine!

Author:  Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

We’re all familiar with physical cleanses that require strict regimes or special concoctions to purge toxins from our bodies. But you need to start with your surrounding – de clutter your home and office space, or items you haven’t used in years. All this crap just accumulates and frankly, if you don’t do this now, you’ll become the perfect candidate for Hoarders.

Next step – the computer. Delete all unnecessary emails, and remove yourself from all those email newsletters you never read.

Now time to purge your mind. Remove any self doubt and negative thoughts. Thoughts, emotions and behaviour are all interconnected, and feed off each other.  Change the way you think, and you’ll change the way you feel and behave. Here’s a few tips:

-        Every time your mind starts to wander off and go into worry mode, STOP.

-        Start and end each day instead by being thankful for everything and everyone you DO have in your life that makes it better.

-         Acknowledge at least one positive thing that you’ve accomplished each day.

It’s pretty simple – poisonous people create poisonous environments people.  Get out of all harmful and destructive relationships – it’s is the only path to happiness.  A true friend is there for you unconditionally, doesn’t make you feel guilty and feeds you positive energy. Family members are a bit trickier to remove yourself from. You may have to confront or set some firm rules and guidelines with the pests that continually upset you, since your family is not something you can easily dismiss. Surround yourself with family, friends and lovers who build you up and who celebrate in your successes.

As far as romance is concerned, stop living out of fear of being alone and search for someone who is better suited to you. A partner must complement your life. You also need to be happy before you can be in a fulfilling relationship. When you do find someone, focus on being present for them, and not bringing up or thinking about the past. You can’t find Miss/Mr Right when you’re thinking about Miss/Mr Wrong.

Learn to say NO to people, situations and tasks that you don’t have time for. Cleaning your emotional house and changing the way you think is not something you can do overnight. Ask for suggestions from your close inner circle and don’t hesitate to talk to a professional if you feel you’re getting nowhere on your own.  Figure out what and who makes you happy and do more of it and see more of them.

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

photo taken from: cartoondollemporium.com

That first kiss…it is SO much more important than we thought. Research shows that 55 % of men and 66 % of women couldn’t tell if they are attracted to someone till that first kiss (Source: Evolutionary Psychology). Most of us go on a date and make a decision on whether or not we are attracted to someone from the very beginning. If we are not attracted to them, we’ll dismiss them. BUT – a simple kiss can change that. A lot of people, women especially, change their mind about someone if the first kiss is good. Kissing can also determine if a relationship can be initiated. According to the evolutionary theory, there are psychological changes during a kiss that subconsciously signal if the other person could be a good partner.

So how is this relevant to dating and relationship? Basically – if you’re not sure about whether or not you are attracted to someone, kiss them. If you feel something, it is a good sign, but if not – could be that you’re just not a match. Often uncertainty can be turned into being supremely surprised and blown away at how sweet the kiss was.

Consider this, if you’re preparing for that first kiss. Ease into it – you shouldn’t make it awkward, it should feel natural. And it should be somewhere private so you both feel comfortable. Make sure you have nothing stuck in your teeth and that your breath is fresh (always be prepared with mints on hand just in case……). And lastly – make it sweet. Slobbering is for pets and tonsil hockey is for teenagers. Kissing gets to be enjoyed by us humans!

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

And here’s a tip – we’re not joking about any of this stuff. These tips are real and NEEDED. We’re talking to you, every day guys, not just the ones who live in their parents’ basement.

1. You’re wearing THAT?

Make sure your clothes are in a current style and you’ve got good quality shoes – women zero in on badly dressed men, and scruffy shoes. Ditch the trainers outside of the gym. Wear colours that look good on you. Women are subconsciously attracted to men in blue and red; blue signifies stability and reliability and red signals power. Also change things up a bit; don’t wear the same outfit all the time. Women notice these things and will think you’re poor or don’t have a sense of style. No guy wants to date an unattractive girl, and if you’re unattractive buddy, she won’t want you either. If you’re not fit to be seen with, you can kiss even a hello, goodbye.

A couple more thoughts:

- Your belt should match your shoes

- Buy pants that fit you well and that aren’t too baggy. Women try to look thinner. Why are you trying to look shorter and fatter?

2. Hygiene is critical… (seriously guys, this isn’t a joke).

Make sure your hair and nails are clean. Trim your nails, nose and ear hair. Nothing makes a woman cringe more than hair that shouldn’t be there. You stare at a women’s unshaven legs and see how attracted you are to her. Now you get it, huh?! Make sure you take a shower regularly and wear the right amount of cologne (Not too much! But the perfect amount will make her weak in the knees). Make sure you’re kissable and that your teeth are clean and white.

3. Get your act together.

Women value men who have their professional lives together and who have a passion for what they do. If you’re having difficulties with your job, resolve it. If you are currently doing something you don’t like, find something you do like. It’s not brain surgery. (And for those guys who are in a relationship, sorting yourself out has the added benefit that she stops nagging you. Think of all the peace you’ll get).

4. Don’t be a selfish jerk when it comes to dates (or more politely referred to as “Don’t confuse going on a date with hanging out with your buddies”).

Just because you like sports doesn’t mean it’s something your date wants to talk about. Pick dating topics you are both interested in (where you like to travel, books, current events, mutual hobbies, any upcoming interesting plans – keep topics light and fun. Make sure there is NO TALK about your EX or FAMILY bashing).

5. Zip your lips.

Limit the talk time about you. Don’t brag about how much money you make or how you can get any girl you want. Only men who are insecure brag about themselves. And frankly, even if you are rich, you won’t get anyone because all the women will be dead of boredom.

6. Women like being treated like a lady.

Open doors for her and don’t use coarse language. No matter how much she insists on paying on the first date, don’t let her pay. And if you really like her, treat her like a princess for life, and she’ll treat you like a king in return.

7. Is that your backbone I see going down the street?

Be confident – women are attracted to confident and in-charge men. Relax, don’t fidget and stay calm and try not to worry too much about the outcome. Breathe if you’re nervous; it’s a natural relaxant. Be yourself, be real. Using humour is a bonus.

8. Nobody likes drippy wimps.

Boys…take up space when you stand. Think BIG and stand with your feet at least 6-10 inches apart. Women like dominant men. Watch your posture and body language, and stand tall. Maintain direct eye contact.

9. Stop trying to get laid all the time.

Don’t expect sex early on in the dating process. Sex is a bigger deal to most girls and they would like to get to know the guy before they do anything. So respect the girl and give her some time and establish an emotional connection and relationship with her.

10. Keep it real.

Remember to smile, have fun and enjoy the ride. Just be yourself. Unless of course, if the real you is extremely boring, in which case you’re doomed.

Two last tips:

- When you’re kissing her, the tongue is meant for teasing and not licking her entire face. Women are sick of being slobbered on (literally).

- Remember that everyone has something of value to offer even if they’re not the one for you.

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

Check out these tips on general first date topics of conversation. Remember to lighten up and have fun. Never talk about your exes for the first few dates, even if asked directly – change the topic and move on to something else. Keep your conversations positive.

Hello globetrotter!

People love to travel, see foreign places, meet exotic people and experience new realities. Talk about where you’ve been, how you liked it, what you did while there, and what made a standout impression. Ask about the last travel destination and what they have planned for their next trip and any future places they’d love to see.

Lady Gaga is an endless source of conversation

What’s currently hot or not. Attitudes, perspectives and images dominating the internet and media are all great. There is always something interesting going on in the sporting, music and entertainment world. It’s human nature to be curious about other people. We can’t help but be captivated by other people’s headlines.

So are wars

Local, national or international news will make someone see how on top of things you are… just avoid getting too political or religious. If it turns out you’re on polar ends of religion or politics, you could end up in a heated argument. Keep in mind to stay away from negative topics and focus on positive ones.

Girl power! (Guys – this is a great in)

Her girlfriends are her pillars of support and cohorts in good times. Ask her about them, how she met them, where they go together, and what mischief they’re always up to. Girls love talking about their friends and they like to do for fun. Some people also see their siblings as their friend so ask about them too!

Mom, dad and Fluffy

By asking her about family you can get a good peek into who someone is. What are her parents and siblings like? Where do they live? Note: if any hint of or dysfunction rears its ugly head, quickly change the subject. And pets are pretty much family members.

Future plans

Ask about dreams and ambitions and their ideal job. Find out if your date has a five or 10 year plan and where they’d like to live, who they’d like to emulate, and how they plan to make it happen. You can talk about what you like about your job but don’t mention how much money you make and don’t grill the other person as though they’re on a job interview.

Activities and fun

To gauge someone’s tastes (and for a hint about where you should go on your second date), ask about where they like to go on weekends, what activities are preferred, and if you’re a social butterfly or a lone ranger.

Reveal your inner style

What type of music, books, food, and all manner of consumables subject to personal preference. You can get great conversation going, and even stumble on things you have in common. You can also talk about hobbies. Most people are interested in at least one thing; whether it is photography or video games. Not only would this allow you to get to know the other person but if the date is going well again you can get some ideas for a 2nd date.

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

Ladies, stop being so crazy when it comes to dating! Relax, look hot, let the man lead, limit your talk time and you’ll grace through dating.

1) Damn that girl’s fine.

Always look your best. Men are highly visual, will size you up in a second and put you in the hot or friend zone.

We can’t all be Miss Venezuela, so if you aren’t – learn to maximize your best features (think bust, butt, legs). Sexy hair, a natural, light amount of makeup, heels, boots, skirts, dresses, a flattering pair of jeans are all great. Dress for your body type and choose a color that looks good with your skin tone and hair color.

2) OH MY GOD, will you stop analyzing everything??!

Boys’ brains don’t dissect everything and process information over and over. His brain is not going where yours is. If he’s into you, you’ll know it. He will make time for you.

3) Get a grip.

Prince Charming doesn’t exist and chances are you’re not going to marry a Vancouver Canuck. No one is perfect so take that word out of your dictionary. Be a realist and get to know him. Choose someone who’s right for you that you can be yourself with. That potential frog may become the prince you can’t live without.

4) Stop trying to go from coffee to marriage. Slow it down.

Go on a date with no expectations. Simply plan to have fun getting to know a new person. Don’t plan your wedding and family in your head. Guys will sense this and RUN.

5) Act like a girl.

Men like feminine girls and don’t want to compete with their partner. So turn off your edgy work vibe, don’t dumb down, be yourself, confident, smart and nice. If god wanted us all to be men, he would have created them.

6) Shut your mouth.

A boy is not your girlfriend so act accordingly. Too much information is overwhelming. Be positive and engaging, fun to be around and hold your state secrets till later.

7) Where’s YOUR backbone?

Get a life and keep it. Never look for a romantic partner to complete you – they’re there to enhance and complement your life, not save you. Sisters, you need a life of your own, and girls’ nights out!

Also don’t ever fight with a girlfriend over a guy. Value your girlfriends and save your nails for manicures, not catfights.

8) Keep him running (and if you keep him chasing for long enough, he could even lose weight!).

Men are hunters– make them work for it in the beginning stages of a relationship. Let him pursue you. Keep him on his toes and be nicely encouraging- but let him take the lead. Once you’ve settled in and his heart is open, stop playing hard to get.

9) Keep your legs closed.

Don’t have sex early in the dating process. Testosterone and the brain circuitry in men make sex to them as natural as breathing. They will try to move you to the bedroom and get you to break your rules.

If you want your guy to take you seriously, make sure you have a strong emotional connection and a relationship. Don’t give in till you have some sort of commitment from him.

10) Remember that men are simple.

They aim to please and want to make us happy. So let them. Don’t be a nag and don’t be critical (that’ll just make them dislike you). Limit the drama. For the most part men, want to be in love as much as we do.

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw

1) It’s all about good vibrations and attitude.

Be positive and exude a good vibe. Not every guy’s a jerk nor is every girl shallow and after your money. There are great people out there so quit whining. Happy, positive people, attract happy, positive people. Your friends should also have the same attitude. Negative friends bring negative energy so NO opposite sex bashers!

2) Get off your backside.

Be proactive about your love life. Change the dynamic of what you’re doing to meet people. Do things you like to do such as volunteer in an animal shelter, hospital, business committee, coach a sports team, go to art galleries, libraries, etc. Hire a professional. Just get out of your comfort zone and change it up.

3) Love yourself.

It’s impossible to love someone else and share your life with them without first loving yourself. It’s a cliché for a reason. You’ll continue to attract the wrong person into your life…….or no one at all.

4) You can’t custom order a significant other.

Life would be so much simpler, but you just can’t order a human being off a menu to suit your specifications. Love is about chemistry and a connection on many levels – physical, emotional and spiritual, and about timing. Often the type of person who you end up being with doesn’t come in the package you were envisioning (but they’re even better than you ever dreamed possible).

5) Be open (that includes accepting a few extra pounds or two inches less).

This will increase your chances for finding love. The most successful love people are the most open in terms of what they are looking for and stay away from long, rigid lists. Boxes checked doesn’t equal perfect mate.

Also remember that we are a multicultural city and someone of a different ethnic origin may be right for you. If that’s the case, remember to be respectful of each other’s values and upbringings.

6) Don’t lead someone on if you don’t like them.

It doesn’t get simpler than that. Honesty is the best policy and hurt feelings can be minimized if you say it nicely. The more time you spend with someone, the more disappointed they will be when you reveal your lukewarm interest. It can be difficult to say ‘no,’ but leading someone on is downright mean.

7) Lighten up.

Relax and have fun.  Stop trying to fast track intimacy, things need time to develop. Laughing and enjoying yourself with someone new is a good thing.

8) Nobody likes a drunk.

Impose a two drink maximum. It’s one thing to take the edge off and calm your nerves, another one to get blasted. Dates are about getting to know each other and making a good first impression and revealing just the right amount of information. Alcohol depresses inhibition and you are more likely to do something that you would regret later – so be cool and in control and limit your intake.

9) Tell the truth.

Lying about your age, income, education or personal stats is a slippery slope. It can be exhausting, and when the truth comes out, it’s hard to rebuild trust, if at all. According to Sigmund Freud, “we leak the truth from every pore.” Pretending to be someone you are not, will reduce your chances of meeting someone who is right for you.

10) Be on time.

Making someone wait for you, will make them anxious and uncomfortable, and could taint the rest of your date. Also when picking a location, make sure you can both see and hear your date.

Author: Susan Semeniw

www.divinematchmaking.ca

Twitter @susansemeniw